“I hope you will not misunderstand what I am going to say. I am not preaching, and Heaven knows I do not pretend to be better than anyone else. I am only trying to call attention to a fact; the fact that this year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people.” -Mere Christianity, Chapter 1.

Instead of reading more of Chan I opted to take the advice of an acquaintance and watched a couple of interviews on Youtube. I was curious when I read the title “Erasing Hell by Francis Chan” and immediately thought that this was some type of rebuttal or acknowledgment of Rob Bell’s recent book “Love Wins” which I have not yet read. The video was humbling and I look forward to reading more about Chan’s journey through scripture about what Hell is and isn’t.

Chan’s humble approach to the subject of Hell isn’t an approach I’m used to seeing in the South. I expect to see one of two things when people talk about Hell. The first is that they don’t talk about it. They avoid it and try to revert back to an idea of only a loving God, but seem to forget the justice of God. The second is the typical (and annoying) in your face, turn or burn approach. This approach tends to harp to hard on the justice and anger of God and forgets about the love, grace, and mercy that we expect from a perfect Father. I can’t wait to read “Erasing Hell”, but take a look at Chan for yourself…

However, it is a alcoholic malt beverage. According to an article in the Bay City News, the company Jeremiah Weed, says that “the new line of malt beverages is more male-centric than other premium adult beverages.”

While the beverages may claim to be “more male-centric” I doubt that I’d catch a man’s man with a pink can in his hand. It seems to me that the targeting is two fold. There first target is obviously men, but the second, consequently, are teens. My argument stems from the fact that Jeremiah Weed’s new beverage was stored closer to the energy drinks than the other alcoholic beverages. Sure, the individual store is responsible for the placement, but a teen is much more likely to see the product if it’s next to the sodas and Monsters.

I’m no guru on culture and advertising (Walt Mueller is), but I hate it when companies push the controversial limit to promote their product. I wouldn’t have put the picture up, but I hope that parents/youth workers/teens will see this and recognize the danger… that and I didn’t think anyone would believe me.

So I called one of the guys in my youth group (“Noch Noch” who is also an avid Ford enthusiast) and we tore into the beast. Sure enough, it was blown. It looked awful with pieces cracked, oil saturated, and pieces that looked just plain terrible. So, we cleaned everything, replaced the gasket with a brand new one, and waited to fire it up. When we finally did it was back in business. Problem solved.

Almost… I knew that was too easy.

About a mile away from my house my engine stalled on me. Dead a red light I begin pushing this 4,000lb obstacle out of the street. It wouldn’t start and when it finally did it sounded horrific. I made it to the church, but again with very minimal power. When I arrived I saw oil leaking from the cover… blown again. So I got it home, parked the truck, and prayed to a carpenter about an engine. I prayed he’d know someone that could tell me what happened… He did.

Here was the conversation at the youth Christmas party:

Hank: We did everything by the book. Except I didn’t have a torque wrench so I just tightened the bolts in really tight.

Jay:  It only needs to be hand tight.

Hank: But I thought you needed to make sure they had enough torque.

Jay: You do, but it’s not much. If it’s too tight you’ll warp the valve cover and you won’t have a solid seal.

So I consulted the book to find I need about 5 ft lbs. of torque. Needless to say, the valve cover was warped. I did it the best that I could.

The best I could. Jay could’ve done it better. Sometimes we put too much pressure on things and then wonder why they didn’t work. The fact of the matter is that there are some things that can take a lot of pressure, and there are some things that can’t. There are parts to my truck that need to have over 100 ft. lbs. of torque, and others that only need to be hand tight. I’m thankful that in youth ministry I have people (both volunteers and students) that are at different levels. Some need to be pushed really hard and some just need to know you’re there. The key is to push (or challenge) everyone, but we have to know how much is too much and how much isn’t enough. How do you know the right formula in your spirituality?

How do I know what my torque setting is? How do I know where I am in my relationship to God? What do I need to do to grow closer?

Whenever I think of the city I don’t think of Columbia, Greenville, or Charleston. I think of New York. I can still remember stepping off the Amtrack walking around the corner and standing at the entrance of Madison Square Gardens. Macy’s was just down the street. People were everywhere!! Some had suits and briefcases, some with ball hats and shopping bags. I couldn’t believe it. I’d arrived.

Here I was straight out of South Carolina. Literally. I drove from Greenville to NYC in a day. Fortunately, I didn’t drive up alone. My wife’s parents went with me. Just the three of us. Well… the three of us and their dog Amy. We left around 3 am and arrived just outside of New York around 9:30pm. After a not so relaxing night on the sofa bed in Kristie’s parents’ hotel room (that’s right not only shared a ride, but also a room) the next morning I woke up, knocked on Kristie’s door and off we went to the city. Exhausted I’m sure my southern accent was obvious. I felt so out of place, but I really didn’t care. I was in New York. Who cares if I’ve got a massive camera around my neck and I’m snapping shots every chance I get? IT’S NEW YORK!

The whole city seemed super sized. The buildings, the fashion, the prices, the sales lines, the lights, the billboards, even the candy shop. I could hardly believe the M&M shop. From floor to ceiling there was candy. It’s a kid’s dream come true, and parent’s nightmare, and a cash cow for local dentists.

We tried to walk to Ground Zero. New York is a little bigger than Greenville. Trying to walk from one side of the city to the other was a little ambitious. The size of the crater was huge. I couldn’t believe just how much room the Twin Towers took up. Let me explain, a Greenville city block is not the same as a NYC block. I honestly think you could fit the city limits of Greenville within Ground Zero. It was huge.

Looking back I describe my initial reaction to New York as being awestruck. Exploring the city with Kristie is still one of my favorite memories. But as I read the scriptures I can’t help but think of how BIG the Father is and how incredibly small I am. It blows me away to think that the biggest, most extravagant things on this planet are merely an ottoman to God. Imagine that when God kicks back to relax He sits on Mars, lays His head on Jupiter, and props His feet on Earth. And that’s still an understatement!! Then imagine that he took so much time to sort out the little details. And not just little, but like microscopic, not yet discovered details of life. Like the fact that before you were born He knew how many hairs would be on your head. He is both able to see the incredibly big picture, and at the same time intricately cares about the ity bity details of our lives. The fact that other religions refer to God as some superior being that should strike fear into your heart, or that He is some small god that has to be prayed to in a specific way or else He can’t hear you makes me laugh. The fact that I call my God, abba father, dad is incredible. No other “religion” holds a candle to my relationship with my Father.

As if I needed to experience a night with the highway patrol, a restaurant manager, a USDA certified… donkey (being very, very nice with my very, very limited name calling vocabulary.)

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet with a group called the Lexington One Community Coalition (LOCC) at a local Mexican restaurant. Of course I wasn’t going to miss a free meal! So Kristie and I RSVP’d and went to investigate what kind of serious conversation the LOCC could conjure up  at a Mexican restaurant.

They had some incredible information about local middle and high schools across the Columbia, SC area. The conversation centered mostly around the perception of alcohol among teens and how it continues to be the #1 substance that teens choose to abuse. We talked about how we could impact our communities by doing simple things. Overall, I think it was a productive meeting. There was a police officer, aka Po-po, at the meeting who reported on house parties, DUI related deaths among teens, and what kinds of problems the local police are facing and how LRADAC has teamed up with police and fire fighters to improve our communities.

I wish I would have snagged his card or badge number or something so I could get in touch with him. I had no I clue that I could have used this connection later.

After wrapping up lunch, dropping off Kristie, finishing up work at the office I went home to see my wife (on a week day!!). When I got home Kristie had got so caught up in cleaning the house, doing laundry (which I was, am, and will always be grateful for), and going through that stack of papers that I some how forgot about, that she completely forgot about the delicious meal that we had both been talking about making for days. Oh well. At least the house was clean right? So what are we going to do for dinner???

We got in the car and began driving down I-20 towards the mall. Kristie had the Garmin in the passenger’s seat and began searching for places to eat. We play this game of asking, “What do you not want for dinner?” Not mexican, not a deli, not even dinner. Ugh, we’re both just hungry and I cannot think of what I wanted to eat. Maybe we could grab a bite at…

That’s when I saw the lights flashing.

Not the lights of a silver Dodge Charger, but the lights of a white 15 passenger work van in my side mirror. He was swerving in and out of traffic and hitting the perfectly paved bumps of the South Carolina Interstate so hard his headlights looked like they were flashing as he hit one bump after the other. I had a semi behind me, a sedan in front of me, and a car in the lane beside me.

I knew this was going to be bad.

As he approached the car beside me… hold on, as he nearly ran into the car beside me he abruptly applied his brakes and swerved behind me. Headlights flashing he wanted me to slide over, but there was a car beside me and one in front of me… AND WE WERE ALL GOING THE SAME SPEED. All except this lunatic in the Indy-Car inspired work van. Needless to say Kristie freaked out, and I needed to get out of this guy’s (or girl’s) way. We were able to slide over, at which time the van tried to bully the sedan out of his way.

I use to have an aggressive bit of road rage

but now I have a cell phone. Go ahead jerk, bully your way in and out of traffic in your blatantly obvious white Ford E-250 work van with a South Carolina permanent tag # _______. Yes I had the tag number and yes I was quickly in touch with a highway patrol officer giving a detailed description of the van, mile marker, and that he took I-126. Now I don’t have road rage, because I know someone else could take care of the problem.

Moving on Kristie and I decided to opt out of a real dinner and go for breakfast. There is this 24 hr breakfast place on close to the mall that looks like something out of the 50′s.

Only moments after walking in you could sense tension. Exhausted from the day, we took our seats to enjoy supper at a nearly 9 at night. To gain some perspective you need to know that Kristie and I sat on the same side of the booth and yes we are “that couple”.

Before our waitress could bring our water both of saw what looked liked a really cute 12-18 month old boy eating dinner with his seemingly frustrated father. The boy had food all over his face and looked like he’d been playing in his food. Maybe dad was upset that more food was on the baby than in the baby, I don’t know. Kristie and I have a ton of friends that are pregnick right now and we have talked about when we will have our own little one (it will not be anytime soon). Of course Kristie is looking at the little boy and I’m looking at the menu.

What happened next infuriated me and Kristie to a level which is borderline explosive.

I heard a man cursing at the top of his lungs. I looked up and the man had grabbed the little boy, slung him into a different seat and was within an inch of his face screaming and cussing at him. At this the little boy began to scream and cry. He was terrified. The man continued to scream “Stop your crying! Why can’t you just stop with all your…”

My blood pressure peaked. How could you scream at a child!? Much less at 9pm?! I knew that if I didn’t get me and Kristie out of that restaurant that someone would be leaving in an ambulance and I was not going to let it be that little boy. The waitress apologized and we went to our car. From there I saw another waitress approach the man and walk away. It looked like they were taking care of the problem.

As Kristie and I vented and cried over what the future might hold for that little boy I felt convicted. I should have said something to the man, but he looked strung out on something. I should have contacted the manager immediately, but I wanted to make sure my wife was safe. I should have called the police and had the man thrown in prison.

I decided to call the restaurant and speak to the manager to follow-up with what had taken place and to see what had happened with the man and that little boy. It was not a fun conversation. When the manger said “I’m sorry you left. I’ve been told you and your wife left because the baby was crying so lou” I cut him off and explained.

“It wasn’t the baby’s crying. I completely understand that a baby cries. They laugh, they cry, they throw fits, they throw food, they spit up, but when a grown man uses force to try and intimidate a helpless child; when he curses at his son, when he grabs an 18 month old and throws him into a chair… I don’t have the tolerance for a man that ignorant, and maybe he needs someone to throw him around so that he’ll understand that his behavior won’t be tolerated. As an American you should exercise your right to refuse service to men of that character and have an officer escort him to jail.” I was fuming.

I can handle a lot of pressure and a lot of pain. You can talk behind my back, you can say hurtful things, and I’ll find a way to restrain my flesh and mouth and I’ll be able to move on later. But when someone abuses a child, much less in front of me… I can’t handle that. It stirs up something in my core. There is no fuse, only ignition. And it’s not just me, I’m reminded of the passage:

“If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” – Jesus

I get the feeling this wasn’t said with a smile and a halo. In this verse, I see the lamb of God for the child, but a mighty lion for the guilty party. A lion that would destroy his adversary without mercy. There are lines that get crossed where the focus that was once on grace and mercy changes to one of the ferocious, brutality of the lion. It’s when the primary focus becomes the safety of an innocent child and the feelings and well-being of the abuser is secondary.

Christ wouldn’t have allowed this. I’m not quite sure what he would have done in this situation. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he would have had the chance to do anything because Peter would have jumped over the table. Some days I’m more like Peter.

I think Jesus enjoyed the simple and pure things in life like the laugh of a child, the beauty of creation, and the comfort of good friends. But my Jesus loves people. Not just the people who love Him, but all people. And not this fictional, cheap love, but genuine love for each and every person. And I think Jesus has favorites, those that know Him and that He knows, and those that are innocent because they haven’t had the chance to get to know him.

Kristie and I eventually ended up at IHOP, only a mile or so away from our house. Four pots of coffee later K.B. and I finally settled. I still wonder what life has in store for that little boy. Will he end up like the man sitting beside him, or will he end up like his real Father above? And what should I have done differently? Or did I do what I needed to do? Was it enough?

I hope that people will reach out to those that are hurting. Not just those that suffer the ins and outs of a normal day, but those that come from abuse and neglect. Those who haven’t had a dad that tries to live the example of the Father. Those who have never known the love of Christ to be shown through another person.

As followers of Christ there are three things that are required from us daily:

And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Grace and Power,

Hank

With Revolution taking place in Columbia we wanted to make sure that it still felt like a retreat. For lodging we stayed at the church on Friday and Saturday night. Berea Friendship UMC (Greenville), St. Mark UMC (Seneca), and Trinity UMC (Anderson) also descended on Lexington UMC for the weekend.

Friday night we headed off to the Columbia Metropolitan Convention Center, about 20 minutes away. Arriving early enough to catch 2nd row seats, we kicked off the evening with Lauren Taylor and David Cliffton chucking Breeze frisbees into the crowd. Opening the flood gates of energy was Empire State who opened with a set of gospel hip-hop. Bringing the worship to a peak was the Robbie Seay band, followed by our speaker Lowell McNaney who challenged us to face our fears.

Needless to say Friday was incredible. Lowell hit on a topic that many of us face: Fear. With Chris Lynch and Matty G both crashing at Lexington with their students it was to be a great weekend, but we’ve all faced fears. I faced the fears of moving to Lexington, Chris and the Lynch family faced their fears, and Matt (a youth pastor and special ed. teacher) helped a student face some fears.

Of course Chris, Matt and I have faced the insurmountable fear of a high ropes zipline at Asbury Hills together. It wasn’t nearly as bad as the embarrassment of wearing the harness though.

Lowell made a great statement about fear, “The only difference between a hero and a coward is that a hero faces his fears and a coward runs from them.” Lowell focused on the same word Todd Agnew made about David and Goliath a few months ago.

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.

So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

David ran and stood over him. He took hold of the Philistine’s sword and drew it from the sheath. After he killed him, he cut off his head with the sword.

Facing fears is something that we have to do daily. The fear of failure. The fear of driving on an interstate. The fear of being rejected. Even hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (the fear of long words). The difference between people who have pursued the abundant life that Christ offers is that we have been given the Holy Spirit which is not a spirit of fear, but one that takes confidence in an all-powerful Father who loves us. Paul writes beautifully:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,  will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

Today, I’ll face my fears. Tomorrow, I’ll face them again. But I’ll never face them alone. I’ll face them with the confidence that Christ has asked me to face them, and that He will lead me through them with His strength and for His glory.

Grace and Power

It was scary, but Trinity has loved us genuinely and has treated us as though we were had been members of the congregation for years. Through great leadership and the love shown to us by the bride of Christ, Kristie and I have come a long way from the lack of direction we felt last spring.

The past 8 months have been amazing. From the mission trip to St. Louis to standing in an elevator with two toilets for Toilet Night Kristie and I feel back in love with youth ministry and the students of Trinity UMC.

I’ve applied at many churches for a position as a youth minister, but have had no luck. A friend contacted me to tell me about Lexington UMC in South Carolina in the beginning of September. They had an opening, but I wasn’t moving to Lexington. 4 more friends contacted me, but I wasn’t moving to Lexington. Paul Frey and Chris Lynch told me about Lexington, but I wasn’t moving.

Funny what takes place when you tell God “No” and he says “Go”.

Jonah told God no… and he still ended up in Nineveh.

You guessed it… after interviewing, speaking, worshipping, and spending time in prayer with the congregation at Lexington UMC I’ve been invited to join the staff as the Youth Pastor.

It’s exhilarating, but hard. But God rarely blesses us in the easy times, and has poured out His amazing blessings and Kristie and me for the past 8 months, and has clearly directed us to Lexington.

To LUMC… get ready, November 30th will be here soon. To The Rock and Trinty… you’re all amazing and you will always have a place in my heart that surpasses understanding. Thank you.

She even stopped flipping through next top chef, and project runway to watch Richard Petty crawl into a Pontiac Superbird being auctioned off on Barrett-Jackson for The Darrell Gwynn Foundation (DGF). The Superbird brought in over $500,000 “to prevent, provide for and ultimately cure spinal cord injuries and other debilitating illnesses” (DGF mission statement).

She pretty much amazing.

False

While going to church is a good example it should not be the primary reason that we go to church. Attending solely to set an example for someone else may be one of the main reasons that people don’t go to church… because they find hypocrites.

Think with me for a moment. Why did the Pharisees go to the Synagogue? Was it worship God? Or was it to be an example to all those that weren’t good enough to wear the religious clothes of the day? The Pharisees went to church to “set an example” they prayed so that they might “set an example”. The fact of the matter is people who attend church only to set an example are people who think of themselves to highly and lack humility.

In Matthew 6 Jesus speaks about the how and why of the Christian life. He uses the Pharisees (hypocritets) as an example of exactly how NOT to act. See the Pharisees thought they had it figured out, they did what they could to show people that the way that they did church was the right way. Not by living in a way that reflected Christ, but in a way that brought attention to themselves.

My first semester of college I remember my RD Mike Jones (yes that really was his name) sitting everyone down in the balcony bleachers of Spartanburg Methodist’s gym and saying “do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not… DO NOT break the following rules.” I knew that he had placed emphasis on those rules. There were some that if you broke you were doomed and others that were more hall based rules of courtesy.

In Matt 6 Jesus uses the phrase (NIV) “Do not” 15 times. He takes it further than the 10 Commandments which just list, he says do not be like the hypocrites that give, pray, and fast. Why? Because they are only doing so to be an example and be looked up to by others. They Only desired power.

Many times I have tried to demonstrate how to do something and failed miserably. That is why I will often give a disclaimer before I do something… especially cooking. The problem with doing something SOLELY to be an example is that no one is perfect, we will fail, but if we are doing this in a church only to be seen and fail then we ourselves have become the very hypocrites that opposed Christ.

So, why do you go to church?